Message on the front reads:

The THE LITTLE PERSON in my GLASS

"Have ANOTHER drink," he says, "for it will make you more ATTRACTIVE, funny, BEAUTIFUL and wise."

"No," Say I. "For i am STRONG and SENSIBLE, and drinking will not do those things you say."
"Alas," Says he, "then i am surely DOOMED. For if you do not keep me WET, it is my fate to DIE."
So drink I do...and drink and drink and DRINK. For NEVER would i have the HEART to let a Little Person DIE.

Message on the inside reads: Blank