Message on the front reads:

The GARMENT of SHIMMERING BRILLIANCE

And, Lo, there are appeared before the Lady a garment of such shimmering BRILLIANCE, such light, and delicate BEAUTY that it must have come from the very gods themselves.
"Is this a SIGN?" cried the Lady. " A holy Robe of Understanding in which the cloak my restless, YEARNING SOUL?"

"Um, no" a voice replied. "You're just someone who FANTASISES a lot about DRESSES."

Message inside reads:

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