Message on front reads:

The INSTRUMENT of WONDER

Phone: Look at me, oh, human person
Am I not the answer to your every waking DREAM?
Person: A marvel though you are, you cannot give me friendship, LOVE and passion.
You cannot offer TRUE contentment like a LIVING breathing SOUL.
Phone: But does that soul have 97 functions and a megapixel camera such as mine?
Person: Alas, it's TRUE. No human soul can match your GLORY. OH, instrument of WONDER, how I love you. I want you with such PASSION. Please be MINE!